Reflection on Forgiveness
Sometimes I still feel some anger when I remember how my best friend in elementary school hurt me. Samuel was the only Korean boy when I joined sixth grade in an Elementary Australia. Since I did not know English, he was of great help to me since he helped me communicate with other students. However, Samuel was mischievous but always tried to make others believe he was an upright boy. In the incidence that made me angry with him, Samuel had placed a sharpened pencil end on my seat and I sat on it. The pencil stuck on my butt, it hurt greatly, since I had to be admitted in a hospital for six weeks. What hurt most is that he had tried to deceive my mother that he was not responsible by escorting me to hospital and staying with me. However, my classmate later helped me reveal the truth. The incidence made me grieve for a long time since I had always considered him my best friend. I felt anger, resentment, and pain and was stuck in negative emotions for a long period.
Some feelings and thoughts are still unresolved in relation to the incidence with Samuel. Sometimes I feel like my rigid belief system has not changed fully since I always wonder why a friend would betray me in such a way. I also still have thoughts on the level of anguish I underwent after the incidence.
However, forgiveness is now possible for me. This because I have managed to embrace most of the emotions such as pain. Moreover, I have realized that the cost of the incidence was weighing down on me and I felt better when I decided to forgive Samuel. I have somehow changed my belief system in that I now view the incidence differently and think that Samuel stuck the pencil in me out of mischievousness associated with boys at his age. Moreover, I got some contextual understanding of Samuels’s life and realized he could have hurt me because I was the only Korean boy. Therefore, he could not have been bold enough to be mischievous toward someone from a different race. With time, I have managed to increase empathy towards Samuel especially when I remember the several good moments we shared. Moreover, I understand that forgiving Samuel will be beneficial to me since it will release me from the emotional prison I feel I have been in for a long period. Moreover, I feel that failing to forgive Samuel for something he did while he was just a young boy is portrayal of immaturity and this is denying me my emotional freedom.
This lecture and exercise has helped me understand the process of forgiveness. Before the lecture, I did not know that people go through almost the same process while dealing with hurt. Additionally, the lecture has made me realize the benefits of forgiveness to the person who is hurt. In future, I will always work toward forgiving others to ensure that anger and hurt does not prevent me from developing my wellbeing.
In my instance with Samuel, I am in the last stage of forgiveness since I now feel more connected to others and I experience less negative emotions when I think of the incidence. I have also realized that I am capable of handling pain and hurt and I feel more free and mature. Gender
Role Conflict and Psychological Health of Men: The Case of Jack Smith
The case of Jack, and therapy employed in helping him recover from his psychological wounds, is a great case study, which is highly insightful, and moving at the same time. This case scenario is an answer to the psychological problems of many other men in society, facing similar situation as Jack’s, yet suffer in silence because of the stigma and femininity that is tied to the process of men seeking psychological help through therapy. As opposed to the assumption that strong men solve their problems, this case proves that therapy can be trusted to offer solutions to psychological problems of men, as not all problems can be solved personally.
The form of therapy employed coincides with Jack’s situation, therefore, highly effective and most appropriate in addressing Jack’s psychological problems. Through this therapy process, it becomes clear that men, who still adhere to the traditional male roles, are more likely to experience negative psychological health, owing to the restrictive nature of the traditional gender roles. This case has also established that feelings are just feelings, and should not be categorised as feminine or masculine feelings, as this will enhance emotional restrictiveness of a particular gender; the male gender. Jack was a victim of this phenomenon, but the therapy was instrumental in making this clear to him. The therapy has also addressed the gender role themes of power and control in a befitting manner. Jack learns that these should be used for personal development and development of others, but not as tools of manipulating other people.
This case is capable of transforming and healing the psychological wounds of affected men, if more men get access to it. However, considering the disparity of gender roles in society today, young boys should be fed with this knowledge at an early age to prevent gender role conflict experiences in later stages of their lives. However, after reading Jack’s case, a number of questions linger on one’s mind. First, one wonders how exactly, the gender role conflict influences the attitude of men in seeking psychological help. It is also interesting to find out the relationship between gender role conflict and psychological health of homosexual men, as these portray a rather different level of gender roles; are they affected in a similar degree as the heterosexual men? Finally, from this case, the complex interaction between men’s gender role conflict, psychological help-seeking and other variables such as the content of psychotherapy and counselling, is not fully addressed; therefore, a further breakdown of these relationships would be essential for better understanding.
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